Roland Emmerich’s last film (10,000BC) was one of the worst films ever made, so expectations were suitably low for this CGI-heavy outing.

For the first 45 minutes of 2012 very little happens and the last hour descends into simply sketched morality issues which lurch from distracting to just plain annoying. For most films that would be it, but given that this is a Roland Emmerich epic there is also an extra hour of content in the middle of the film. In this case it is a deliriously over the top series of action set-pieces including two of the greatest special-effects sequences of recent years.

When an up and coming researcher uncovers a series of statistics that point towards a devastating and cataclysmic disaster the clock is set ticking towards 2012. According to ancient texts this day has been foretold for many centuries yet governments around the world decide to keep this information a secret for the sake of normality. Adrian Helmsley (Chiwitel Ejiofor) who along with his research team discovered anomalies isn’t entirely convinced by the secrecy however goes along with it under the advice of political heavyweight Carl Anheuser (Platt) and the President himself (Danny Glover).

Meanwhile a novelist Jackson Curtis (Cusack) is struggling to maintain a relationship with his children following a divorce from his wife (Peet)… and he’s on his last chance to try and make it up. On a camping trip he bumps into eccentric radio personality Charlie Frost (Woody Harrelson) who is convinced that the end of the world is imminent. He has evidence that the government also know this, and eventually becomes Curtis’s only chance of salvation.

Basically what we learn early on is that it is possible to outrun Armageddon in a stretched limousine and you can easily perform aero acrobatics after a few flying lessons. These two loud action set-pieces not only defy logic but are so brazen that you simply have to sit back and applaud. Emmerich goes out of his way to top the global devastation he himself has filmed in the past, and to go one better than anyone else before him. It’s like someone turned up the ‘destroy all human’ dial up to 11… and then kept going.

The performances are fine with Cusack managing to be a frumpy action hero without loosing too much of his natural charisma or cool. Everyone else wants to preach something or other to you, most of which you’ll be pleased to know gets drowned out by various landmarks crashing to the ground. For once London manages to not be the first place wiped out… that honour is left to tinsel town itself.

I wouldn’t go as far as to say the film is prophetic in its vision of the demise of Hollywood, in fact this is probably as good a genre movie as you are likely to get for a while, but for more substantial fare you’ll have to look elsewhere.

2012 is big, dumb and cheesy fun which makes little or no sense at all… so it’s a Roland Emmerich movie then? 

Rating: ***

Starring: John Cusack, Amanda Peet, Thandie Newton, Oliver Platt, Chiwitel Ejiofor and Danny Glover
Director: Roland Emmerich
Writers: Roland Emmerich and Harald Kloser
Release Date: 13 November 2009
Certificate: 12
Runtime: 158mins

Review: Cassam Looch

For more end of the world shenanigans, check out Zombieland or any of our Summer Blockbusters